Drinking, mostly: Top Beer & Pub related Tweets September 2011

New month means time for a round up of last month's top 23 Beer, Pub & alcohol related Tweets. As usual we start with the establishment's door policy

23)

fairysaladSarah Nowell

Dear suited twats. Please don't come in my local and complain about it being scummy. Why are you even wearing suits at this time? Twats. Xx

22)
oxford_barOxford Bar

Ah've nae phone signal in the bar on purpose. It stops folk using ****ing mobiles in the place

Right that's the ground rules established

21)

JonathanSwift79Jonathan Swift

Stella has mix'd Lancôme face cream with GIN to increase th'rate of absorption. She may be a lush, but she is truly ingenious!

Sounds like the typical behaviour of an average Gin drinker to me

20)

JonathanSwift79Jonathan Swift

Stella is extending her BOOZE cosmetics empire t'include vodka toothpaste, pastis nail varnish & cognac foundation.
OK you've convinced me. Sounds like quite a lady you have there. Look forward to her going onto Dragon's Den with that range.

19)

brewdogbarbrucebruce gray

Does anyone know how to get Cantillon Kriek out of a carpet? And secondly once out of carpet, how to get it back into my glass?

If you can't hold your drink get rid of your carpets and go with the varnished floorboard option.

18)

BobServantBob Servant

Any London Scots got a tip for watching the tomorrow's game? Not the Rob Roy, that's like the last chopper out of Saigon for Scotland games
And this month's analogy of the month goes to our long time contributor fae Discovery City

17)

dianogahAndy B

Buffet in glasgow pub. Sausage rolls and pakora gone. Salad and quiche untouched. #consistent

Buffet? Aye right. Maybe in Milngavie

16)

@rhodeshannahrhodeshannah

Houston, we have a problem. Your beers are shite. Next should be called Apollo 13.
Strictly speaking this was from August & is an amalgam of 2 Tweets but just the same, OUCH

15)

edinboozeedinbooze
My tweets are Edinburgh and booze based. Why does Twitter suggest I follow @usainbolt? Does he come here in winter and get drunk?

Yeah its part of his off season training

14)

DrAnnabelLecterAnnabel Lecter
I have the grandmother of all hangovers. Found a pair of testicles in my handbag...apparently they belong to some chap at the Thistle St Bar

OK, there is one venue I'm going to be crossing off my Pubs To Visit list

13)

oxford_barOxford Bar
A word of advice. Dinnae come in the Ox asking where Wetherspoons is!
Check. Any chance of the next round on tick? No? How about some of these 50p vouchers for...oh never mind

12)

prodnoseDanny Baker

Update: Those who received my Brighten Up Local Pubs e-petition please be aware had no room for the word 'baskets' after Bring Back Hanging.

Brevity is the soul of Twitter

11)

Glasgow_RedJ P
RT @brewdog: Fu*k the system. Forget what you know... Say hello to Ghost Deer - http://bit.ly/nM3fm3 <--Can I have my shares back please?

Joe having 2nd thoughts about his investment. Was it the beer or the two and a half Sausage munchers line in the video that put you off?

10)

willmill82Will Millinship
I'm going to launch a beer called " Ghost Dad", which will only be available through the taxidermied face of Bill Cosby.

Will's response was, as ever, more whimsical

LovibondsLovibonds Brewery

Beer served from a deer head? Why didn't I think of that? More proof of the substance abuse (beyond alcohol) problems in the North?

AdamShAdam Shafi
@brewdogbarbruce I'm hoping you haven't been to Camperdown Park in Dundee for any 'dubious' deer related props ;-)

TheBlackIsleBoyChris
@brewdogbarbruce Yeah, those deer head couplers are pretty hard to source. I hear the Drowned Rat Inn on the Thames have one spare

Right, that's enough of that manufactured controversy