28) Bet ye you're one of those arseholes who walk intae Nice 'N' Sleazy's with a bike and a guitar. Fucking bet ye. Get oot
@amandacraig
That will be this month's admissions policy established
27) So, as I stumble past the prim and perfect blonde girl I think; 'You may be prettier than me, but I've had a shit load more beer'.
@fairysalad
Key to a happy life is focusing on those core values
26) Dismayed to note that my four-year boycott of the Park Bar has brought no chance in policy re selection of cask ales
@sundancemckid
If this tweet is part of that campaign could be counter productive. Sort of forgot the Park did cask beer. Now you've reminded me I'll be dropping in for some fundamentally pedestrian cask bitter soon.
 |
| Think CBoS & CBoB awards are all fun? Five days a week ah'm having to fire up they mashtuns tae keep up wi demand |
25) If I'm honest, the only thing keeping me in Scotland is the "malt of the month" concept
@willmill82
I came for the free Tertiary education I stayed for the cheap, good quality booze
24) Just spoke to my boss and he's had an idea that is absolute genius. Genius!
@TheBlackIsleBoy
One thing that will never hurt a career is highlighting genius in a supervisor
23) Quite like the idea of home brewing beer. I think I'd call my first beer 'CHESHIRE FUCKBOMB' and see how that goes down.
Long week at work? Kids stressing you out? Have a CHESHIRE FUCKBOMB and taste the affluence and beauty of rural Cheshire. #Advertising
@TheWeeman7
Go for it, those Brewdog laggards won't know what hit 'em. TheWeeman does his own top Tweets. Quite good it is too. Not that I'm linking to it or anything
22) About to smuggle the rest of my beer out of the pub and go home
@colinbmx
Get a growler, Col
21) At George Square, @Fyneales bar. £3.10 a pint. Plastic glasses. Insufferable sound of bagpipes
@thethreesheets
Never the rose without the prick
 |
| Renfrewshire CAMRA members recoil in hysteria/terror |
20) Inspired by this next tweet from Scott initiating a regular Tasting notes for Pseuds feature here at Drinking, Mostly:
Came across this, recent launch of one of my favourites in NY guy says its "heavily-junipered" I'll use that someday
@barbiographer
Not If I get in ahead of you, you won't.
New A le Review! Glastonbury Ales - Hedge Monkey 4.6%: Taste: marzipan! Algae scented cigarette skins.
@aleguider
Has anyone tried the ballast point habanero sculpin? The chilli kicks like an eight legged donkey. Phew! #gbbf
@rhodeshannah
Sounds like Wonderstuff to me
This bottled Traditional Scottish Ales Lomond Gold is better than I expected.
@desdemoor
Hardly a ringing endorsement. Damned by faint praise
Yellowhammer - refreshingly understated in times when it seems that only the loudest shouters think they'll be heard
@GrogansDrinking
Poetic, if uninformative
19) Taxi driver on the Olympics: 'if you live in London you may as well commit suicide for 2 weeks.' I am pretty sure that is not how it works
@BrewDogJames
Why kill time when you can kill yourself? I had that Tony Hancock in the back of my cab once. Very morose man.
18) While I'm crowd sourcing, any ideas for the BEER debate next issue? (let's steer clear of craft and the "Scottish brewery" for now)
@WBandBEER
Growing sense of Deja Vu with this Brewdog/Camra spat. Then it dawned on me: just re-enacting the Whitbread conflict from the 80's. Saw that lot off no bother....
17) Bit of a heavy start this month so here are some snappy one-liners to break things up:
A zombie walks into a pub. "Why the long face?" asks the barman. "My girlfriend's having an affair with my brother. I said he cadaver."
@Its_Death
Just met an inhibited vintner. Advised him not to keep things bottled up.
Our local has just started serving surreal ale. Just ordered a half a pint of soft clocks
@JulianDutton1
Gran'Paw's in. He's ower tired efter huntin' fir Grouse a' day wi'oot any luck. He had tae make do wi' Whyte an' Mackay instead :{D
@Mr_Paw_Broon
Right enough of that, back to the heavy stuff
16) "Ever since the Riots all I've ever wanted was a black girlfriend" (Porno for Pyros)
I try to go to Cardiff: the volcano stops me. Plan to go to London: riots. Not even going to try going to the pub for fear of Prohibition
@thethreesheets
It's all about ME
Last time I got stuck in a riot I took refuge in a pub. Should've bought that new @desdemoor book... In London tomorrow...
@Lupulucy
It's the middle of the festival in Edinburgh at the moment. No point in scumbags rioting here, no one would notice
@TheBlackIsleBoy
 |
| Finally something of value to take onto @C4fourrooms. Courtesy of @TomBrogan |
15) Next wee section all about 'Spoons:
Too many jakes scare off #glasgowbeer folk. Its no @HenglersAles or Last Post that's for sure!
@Glasgow_Red
On the Crystal Palace refurbishment
@Glasgow_Red aye we keep our jakes out and top quality beer in! Award winning ales coming up this week too! #glasgowbeer
@HenglersAles
Nice bit of fraternalism between 'spoons outlets there
Looking forward to running out of Traditional Scottish this weekend, that means its been a great success!! #glasgowbeer
@HenglersAles
Aye, and it will be safe for Des and the rest of us to go back in.
I query the price of a pint, next thing I know I'm told I'm no longer being served. Cheers, Society Room! #glasgowbeer
@willmill82
Hmmmmm....don't worry Readers, Will & the Society Rooms have since made up.
Received the post I look forward to each year - my £20 of Wetherspoons Real Ale vouchers courtesy of @camra_official (am I kidding?)
@Glasgow_Red
Don't get value like that on the Equity for Part time Punks scheme
14) In the finest Calvinist traditions a night of imbibing has to be paid for and many a tweeterer this month was dwelling on the aftermath:
Er....was so drunk in there one night and arguing prices of lambics, I'll wait until the barstaff have graduated and moved on
@thethreesheets
With levels of Student debt that could be a while
I'm very embarrassed about last nights tweet. Someone must have put alcohol in my alcohol
@Jo_Caulfield
Variation on an old cracker, Marx wasn't it? Never drink and tweet. I speak from experience.
Shrapnel count from last night: £18.37 Not a record but it's up there.
@dianogah
Be sure and update your spreadsheet
Hangover: storm force 10 but falling slowly, bastard settling in behind the eyes but bacon sarnie imminent bringing brighter outlook.
@VeeringWest
This guy is my favourite discovery of August
13) Meanwhile over in the cultured half of the Central Belt the Festival was underway
You can tell the Festival has started.....people pulling travel cases behind them are EVERYWHERE! Stop walking around and go to Mathers Pub!
@EdinburghPub
Can't wait for Edinburgh tomorrow. Shite ghost tour then BEVY. I hate Edinburgh
@amandacraig
Tweeted like a true Weedgie.
The Festival officially starts tonight... Late drink hours ....3am for pubs and 5am for clubs. Some then open 6am. Welcome to Edinburgh!
@EdinburghPub
OK, but I'm sure the founders had something else in mind all those years ago
Now that the tourists have gone home, I can get some peace, until next year
@Oxford Bar
Edinburgh's famous Oxford Bar started tweeting on the last day of August. Still made the top 28. Could fill next month's blog from his timeline already.Top curmudgeonliness
12) Of course August also saw the REAL Festival at Earls Court making those left at home melancholic
On walk home. Glasgow pubs all seem a bit empty. Has everyone gone to #gbbf?
@thethreesheets
I wandered lonely as a Twitterer/ When all at once I saw a crowd/...
Would everyone stop texting me about the beers they are having at GBBF, your doing my nut in! wishing i was there
@TempestAllan
Meanwhile in Kelso they took it like men
@BrewDogJames You were right to stay away from #GBBF It is full of sandal wearing old age gits, from the 70's.
@SW6BadgerJack
Oh stop it. BrewDog don't need any encouragement & CAMRA the stereotyping even less.
I just clapped a speech by a coalition minister(Tory) on community impact of pub closures. FFS, I won't be allowed back in Glasgow #gbbf
@rhodeshannah
Mugshot already posted at the border, 6 months in a re-education camp awaits. Do you the world of good.
 |
| This is what you can expect to see over on BeerMonkey's blog. Competitions too |
General synopsis at 1500 on Friday: hours left at work 3 , possibly 2, early bunk likely. Beer probable later. Karaoke warning. Oh yeah.
Libido: Northerly strong 7 or 8 initially, blimey, occasionally crikey, but veering southerly later following lager. Deep low by midnight.
@VeeringWest
10) Discussing the sexual dynamics of 100 acre wood. Who is Roo's father and was Kanga a prostitute... Pub philosophy at its best? No
@TheBlackIsleBoy
No
9) Went on a date with a guy who LOVED his local Wetherspoons, said 'some people he knew' even took Mondays off to spend there.
@nationdon
He didn't pay for his rounds with 50p CAMRA vouchers? Slight East Midlands accent? No? Thank goodness for that, eh @Glasgow_Red?
Another doubled up on every drink he bought himself. I was on soft drinks. He attempted a "move" and fell over.
@dobster1870
Last 2 were via @rhodri who compiled an excellent list of failed dates. Well worth seeking out. But like I said earlier: Not here to drive traffic to other peoples sites.
It's the ECONOMY, stupid
8) Stockmarket: dire turning dismal, then terrible leading to holy fucking shit. Depression bringing heavy rain of stockbrokers. Oh well. Pub?
@VeeringWest
Couldn't resist one last plug. If you're not already following then, well, you know ... just what do you want from Twitter? Bunch of FannyMuppets (©@RidHeid)
7) In Sarkozy's wardrobe dressed as Mr Tumnus covering over my recent 'deposit' with a puke covered hoof. Absinthe Thursday going to plan
@BenedictFarse
No idea what this means either but too absurd to omit & absinthe just about qualifies as drink? right?
6) In the 1901 pub on Pollokshaws road, well run place with new paint job, but very quiet for a pleasant afternoon, are southsiders that skint?
@barbiographer
Nah, not skint just very careful. Besides it's still the 1950s in most parts of Cathcart. Folk don't go drinking on midweek afternoons
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| Now do you see why @YoungsBeers had to give up brewing? |
OK into the final stretch and Glasgow has been dominated by World War Z circus
LIFE, DEATH & THE UNDEAD
5) TOP TIP for @thelangside - provide a smoking area out back so the people standing out front don't scare away potential customers ;)
@Glasgow_Red
Joe keeping it real there as he identifies smokers as a bigger threat than the zombies
4) Sammy Dow's cairngorm highland ipa + old mortality (the beer rather than the congenital human condition) #glasgowbeer
@tweetabixface
Death and the southside
3) Starting on my book "300 Beers You Should Try After You Die". Just waiting for God to get back to me with the list of what's available
@robsterowski
Whilst some of us can't even contemplate the hereafter without reference to a deity, or in Rob's case a beer.
2) Life is about the journey. Not the destination. Unless the destination is the pub. In which case, give it some legs.
@Its_Death
1) Anywhere got Brains, need Brains.... #glasgowbeer
@tweetabixface
Only going to be one winner this month
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