Saturday 2 June 2012

May 2012 Top Beer & Pub Tweets

May, the month CAMRA dedicate to Dark Beer. Co-incidentally there is a dark undercurrent to this month's top Beer and Pub tweets, starting with my new favourite twitname

 
I like my women how I like my beer bottles: empty and broken.
Don't say I didn't warn you


16)
If you're dreading Monday morning at work, just relax. That drunk text you sent your boss last night should ensure there won't be many more
Ah work, scourge of the drinking classes as someone much more profound than me once said. Same theme has been on Eddie's mind

15)
Tiger beer. It's a bit dear. Gets ye drunk. Then Monday fear.
...and Joshua's too


14)
I like being Drunk 'pon a Sunday Afternoon. The Weekend hath still endless possibilities, & the working week may Violate Itself most ROUGHLY
Well said Sir Sir. OK lets have a break from all this heaviness. I know: some overheard bar-room wisdom will cheer us up 


13) 
"were not in a hurry here. its not mcdonalds"


12)
How many expletives can the sun dominoes boys come up with,marvellous amalgamation of sweary words at machine gun fire speed
Oh stop teasing us and give us some examples, used to strong language round here.

Courtesay of @thepoke & @murderersphil




11)
My its a struggle tonight! Feel like I am running a marathon with a deep sea divers suit on. Ooof,looking forward to coast riptide
Hope you didn't get the bends because the Riptide was well worth waiting for.


10) 
Think I might be addicted to drinking brake fluid. It's ok though, I can stop at anytime.

9)
To become a Christian you need a baptism, Islam a declaration that there's "no god but Allah", Rastafarianism a sunny day and 3 Red Stripes
Of course May also meant the arrival of Summer which always makes it an odd choice for the Beer Buffs celebration of Mild. Arrival of the heat hadn't slipped past Tweety's attention

 

8)
Madam, I am no dermatologist but I suggest you return 1 of the 6 bottles of smart price Irish cream liqueur and invest in some sunblock
Or Sooty's

7)
I am in a bar. Everyone in here looks like the cast of ‘Home And Away’. I look like the cast of ‘One Foot In The Grave’.
Regardless of the seasons Beer Festivals carry on...
Taken the day off work to go to the Kingston upon Thames Beer Festival. Imagine the cast of Dads Army channelling The Pogues.
That is some exquisite descriptions of Drinking crowds in under 140 characters, top work chaps. The ghosts of Joyce & Hemmingway are certainly wandering the corridors of Twitter this month


5)
Good to hear Miles Davis cited at . "For each good brew there's a good story to tell."
Bitchin' Des, just Bitchin'


Reviving an old TB&P theme of pointless brewery Dray pics,
 here is one of Fyne's hired truck snapped outside the Last Post



4)
MC Escher walks into a bar. The barman gives him a funny stair.
That's more like it: short and punchy. Bit too clever and arty to make the top spot mind

Ooo...100 followers. It's not a gold at the WBC but it's a start! Your IQ in bottles for the 1000th, with proof! Don't go clicking unfollow!
Winning the most novel incentive prize of the month award

2)
Hungover? Try hair of the dog. Sounds disgusting, but if it's a short-haired dog & you sprinkle it over a salad it's totes manageable.
Another regular here who always comes close.

But this months top spot has to go the one that always makes you think,"of course, why hasn't anyone said that before..."
1)
a man walks into a bar (it's a inn joke)
OK that's the standard Twitter, lets see what you can do in June