Top Beer & Pub related Tweets September 2011

New month means time for a round up of last month's top 23 Beer, Pub & alcohol related Tweets. As usual we start with the establishment's door policy

23)

fairysaladSarah Nowell

Dear suited twats. Please don't come in my local and complain about it being scummy. Why are you even wearing suits at this time? Twats. Xx

22)
oxford_barOxford Bar

Ah've nae phone signal in the bar on purpose. It stops folk using ****ing mobiles in the place

Right that's the ground rules established

 

21)

JonathanSwift79Jonathan Swift

Stella has mix'd Lancôme face cream with GIN to increase th'rate of absorption. She may be a lush, but she is truly ingenious!

Sounds like the typical behaviour of an average Gin drinker to me

20)

JonathanSwift79Jonathan Swift

Stella is extending her BOOZE cosmetics empire t'include vodka toothpaste, pastis nail varnish & cognac foundation.
OK you've convinced me. Sounds like quite a lady you have there. Look forward to her going onto Dragon's Den with that range.

19)

brewdogbarbrucebruce gray

Does anyone know how to get Cantillon Kriek out of a carpet? And secondly once out of carpet, how to get it back into my glass?

If you can't hold your drink get rid of your carpets and go with the varnished floorboard option.

 

18)

BobServantBob Servant

Any London Scots got a tip for watching the tomorrow's game? Not the Rob Roy, that's like the last chopper out of Saigon for Scotland games
And this month's analogy of the month goes to our long time contributor fae Discovery City

17)

dianogahAndy B

Buffet in glasgow pub. Sausage rolls and pakora gone. Salad and quiche untouched. #consistent

Buffet? Aye right. Maybe in Milngavie

16)

@rhodeshannahrhodeshannah

Houston, we have a problem. Your beers are shite. Next should be called Apollo 13.
Strictly speaking this was from August & is an amalgam of 2 Tweets but just the same, OUCH

15)

edinboozeedinbooze
My tweets are Edinburgh and booze based. Why does Twitter suggest I follow @usainbolt? Does he come here in winter and get drunk?

Yeah its part of his off season training

14)

DrAnnabelLecterAnnabel Lecter
I have the grandmother of all hangovers. Found a pair of testicles in my handbag...apparently they belong to some chap at the Thistle St Bar

OK, there is one venue I'm going to be crossing off my Pubs To Visit list

 

13)

oxford_barOxford Bar
A word of advice. Dinnae come in the Ox asking where Wetherspoons is!
Check. Any chance of the next round on tick? No? How about some of these 50p vouchers for...oh never mind

12)

prodnoseDanny Baker

Update: Those who received my Brighten Up Local Pubs e-petition please be aware had no room for the word 'baskets' after Bring Back Hanging.

Brevity is the soul of Twitter

11)

Glasgow_RedJ P
RT @brewdog: Fu*k the system. Forget what you know... Say hello to Ghost Deer - http://bit.ly/nM3fm3 <--Can I have my shares back please?

Joe having 2nd thoughts about his investment. Was it the beer or the two and a half Sausage munchers line in the video that put you off?

10)

willmill82Will Millinship
I'm going to launch a beer called " Ghost Dad", which will only be available through the taxidermied face of Bill Cosby.

Will's response was, as ever, more whimsical

 

9)

LovibondsLovibonds Brewery

Beer served from a deer head? Why didn't I think of that? More proof of the substance abuse (beyond alcohol) problems in the North?

8)

AdamShAdam Shafi
@brewdogbarbruce I'm hoping you haven't been to Camperdown Park in Dundee for any 'dubious' deer related props ;-)

 

 

7)

TheBlackIsleBoyChris
@brewdogbarbruce Yeah, those deer head couplers are pretty hard to source. I hear the Drowned Rat Inn on the Thames have one spare

Right, that's enough of that manufactured controversy

 

 

6)

MrfoleysMr Foleys Ale House

Today my girlfriend told me beer was my mistress. I replied "no love, you are. I met beer long before you"
That's sure to allay her suspicious mind

5)

Cooking_LagerCooking Lager

In a perfect world coming home lagered up after watching the footie with your mates would make you more sexually attractive and not less.

4)

1eddiemunstereddie munster

Drinking Tsing Tao oot a tiger beer glass. Fucking loose cannon me
Aye, right out there. On the edge

3)

TheBlackIsleBoyChris

@bewdogbarbruce you're such a lush. I bet you're in 1st class aren't you? You got an eta you bourgeois bellend?

Class War breaking out amongst Scotland's Beerage

2)

Cooking_LagerCooking Lager

I thought all "southern" blogs were about shandy?

Stirring it good style, Cooking

 

1)

TheBeerCastBeerCast Rich

It can't be any worse than their Flying Scotsman – the diacetyl express

This weeks Tasting notes for Pseuds AND Tweet of the Month. Well done Rich

October top Beer & Pub related tweets

Couple of Celeb spotting ones to get us underway this month:

20)

sundancemckidchristopher mckiddie

met jessie j in the ben nevis so we're away down to the #mobos

 

19)

EdinburghPubEdinburgh Pub

Bit gutted Liz Hurley never popped into Mathers for a pint today. Bet she's an Export kinda girl ....
Dream on, she almost certainly drinks Deuchars

18)

Failed_WriterIrish Headache Ha Ha

You know when you walk into a room and completely forget what you went in there for? Its called alcoholism, get help

17)

borrachoeneldiaborrachoeneldia

Uh oh Wednesday #subcrawl @lauriestonbar http://twitpic.com/6vj75t

At one level it is encouraging to see young people visiting traditional boozers. But aye, en masse they are a pain. Wonder what pubs get visited in Govan/Ibrox

16)

barbiographerScott Graham

My new favourite name for a pub: The Shark's Mouth (!) bar, Coatbridge. Great name, shame about the pub itself

We're gonna need a bigger pub

 

 

 

Spotted by @EastHullPete outside Duke of Edinburgh pub in Hull

Unfortunately one I missed on my recent pub crawl

 

15)

rhodeshannahrhodeshannah

@barbiographer either way, it is a shocking establishment. 'Waaant tae buy some eftershave, pal?' seems to be the code word in the goose.

First rule about the Goose on Union Street is...you don't give away the password

14) @SarahFemme
The quickest way to find out the time is to order a beer at breakfast with your mother

Cocktail Corner. Just dont know where to begin describing what is wrong with either of these 

13)

Glasgow_RedJ P

Wetherspoons beer fest top tip: Taking the Pith and Cossack mixed together make an excellent "Soviet Black and Tan" #glasgowbeer

 

12)

SeeEllVeeCongratulashayla

Drinking a White Russian made out of Kahlua and vanilla Slimfast. Get on my level. (Hint: it's rock bottom). 

Have you two met? Must at least be following one and other, right?

 

 

11) This month's most promising newcomer award goes to...

Father_WilliamWilliam Younger

Oot on the Grassmarket fur a pint. My but some o yon lassies must be awfy cauld

and another choice cut
I wis oot fur a pint this evening and there wis this stuff they cried "Younger's Best". Best? I've pished better.

10)

Kevin_MaguireKevin Maguire

Off to buy 4 cans of Brains and learn words of Mae hen wlad fy nhadau. Ever tell you I used to live in Cardiff? Wales...#RWC2011
If you have to gatecrash a party then pick one that will last the night.

9)

ecorno2*ecorno*

I like to buy a keg to see how many new friends I can make. If I fail, I still have a keg and who needs friends when you have a fucking keg

Supposedly that is how Arthur G got started all those years ago

8)

tWattDogJames tWatt
Great tastings in Stckholm, off home to make a new beer called 'World Carbon Footfuck' before beating a penguin to death with a squirrel

Back to his surreal, Brewdog-baiting best


7)

TamellinghamTom Ellingham

US folk singer in Edinburgh pub last night: "How many of you guys have lived in your car?" (blank silence) ... OK, this is a song about me".

You can almost picture the tumbleweeds rolling past

 

 

6)

simonhjohnsonSimon H Johnson

@thornbridgematt I was born ready. I have an aqualung that uses a keykeg connector as a mouthpiece

5)

amandacraigAmanda Craig

Been applying for a lot of jobs in care homes. Applied for HUNDREDS before Wetherspoons and none got back to me. Would love to work in one.

Of course there is a body of opinion that says 'Spoons = Care Home

4)

rhodeshannahrhodeshannah

I love a party with a hoppy atlas beer. Latitude now on @thebonaccord #glasgowbeer

Noel Edmunds isnt dead after all. No. He lives and drinks amongst us. Scarey thought, isnt it?

3)

Burrito_QuimbyJoseph L. Quimby Jr

Breakfast....Ice cream...back to bed.....This is a brutal one.

And this month's cautionary hangover tweet is brought to us by my favourite Simpsons inspired character name
...
Staying in toonland

2)

5tevenwSteven Winterburn

According to chemists, alcohol IS a solution

1)

BethanyBlackBethany Black

As a Goth I view Hallowe'en in the same way that as an alcoholic I view New Year's Eve. Part timer's night

Finally, someone on my wavelength

 

Hull isn't Dull 1

Many are those who asked me why spend a long weekend in Hull? Lets face it there is an image problem: Grim, industrial, run down, end of the line. None of that put me off. Visited several cities up and down Eastern England during their beer festivals taking in the real ale pub circuit at the same time and over the recent mini heatwave added Kingston-upon- to that list. In the event the place turned out to have more than a few attractions and a bit of culture/history to it. Like a lot of towns dissected by dual carriageways, ring roads and bypasses you sense much of the character has been lost but sections retain their identity and charm.

They do things different in Hull

The Festival venue was the Mortimer Suite of the City Halls, a modestly fronted building on Paragon Street. Inside things were slightly grander: a carpeted dining area where the Halls staff served hot food; a domed central area housing the membership stalls, Tombola,Cider bar and (unchilled) foreign beer bottles; and a picture gallery room with three bars. Don't go to festivals or pubs to drink bottled beer so straight to the casks it was.

As a long time fan of fruity, slightly sour Red ales and being on a mission to try the more obscure local beers the presence of Big River's Big Red(3.9%) from nearby Brough made the first choice an easy one. Found the malt drowned out just about everything else suggesting to me Big River are new to the game. There were some slightly sour fruit notes (raspberries/brambles) in the background and maybe some green apples too. All round not a bad effort, going in the right direction. Next brew hope Big River go for it and not be afraid to push up the sharpness levels with more hop action. Next day I tried the same brewery's Windjammer (4.7%) and was much more impressed. Started off slowly with some noticeably peppery, slightly spicy hops. Quite boozy with a sweetish after-taste that developed down the glass. One of those beers that sneaks up on you to the point where you didn't notice how much you were enjoying it till it has gone.

Another grower was Leyden's Black Pudding Mild (3.8%) Well-roasted malt, creamy body, peppery with mellower after-taste. Possibly drank this out of sequence amid some higher gravity beers so it speaks volumes for its quality that it not only held its own but stood out.

Cleverly bars were named North, South and West with brewers arranged geographically by their relation to Hull. No need for an East bar because until someone starts up a micro on an Oil rig no brewer is located due east of Hull. Not a huge selection compared to some festivals but of the 70 beers on offer I was at best on mere nodding acquaintance terms with about half the breweries. That meant plenty of opportunity to taste something new.

Day 1 of E Yorks 2011 Hull Beer Festival 

Being a keen peruser of the beer list I spotted two along similar lines in the programme: Amber's Chocolate Orange Stout and Dunham Massey's Chocolate Cherry Mild. Never one to miss a bandwagon jumped straight on the latter. Not totally convinced by this 3.8% effort. Tasted a bit thin/watery for a mild and the cherry seemed to be from some sort of concentrate as though it has been stuck on as an afterthought. The Amber Stout didn't appear until the next session. This was a decent roast malt stout at 4.0% but tasted more of vanilla than orange to me. So perhaps this fruity dark beer bandwagon has run its course and it was time to get off.

Whitstable's Kentish Reserve (5.0%) seemed as good a jumping off point as any. Brown with a warm mouth feel and a good alcoholic buzz countered with creamy malt led to a nourishing finish. Nothing ground breaking but nothing off-putting either. Then begin to notice the richer fruity tones like burnt orange and maybe some nuttiness too. And then its finished and I want more but there are too many other temptations. Oh well file it away and hope to come across it again somewhere.

A beer I will definitely be looking for in the future in Empire's Imperium (5.1%) It was yellow tasted of tropical fruits like grapefruit and kiwis. It reached right to the back of the tongue and came atop a nice biscuity malt base. At the time I thought it was right up there with Jaipur from Thornbridge, which was lucky since their beers didn't show up for this festival.

Most festivals choose between token or a Cash payment system. Hull like to do things their own way with a hybrid. Tokens worth £1.40 are sold at the door. This will buy you a half of gravity beer up to 4.5 ABV. If you order something on handpull you need to add 10p for a half or 20p for a pint. Same goes if you want anything above 4.5%. If you want a combination of handpull & ABV > 4.5... you need to consult some sort of decision flowchart. Luckily I didn't buy any foreign beer or cider because things got really complicated there. Not going to criticise here because everyone knows the responsibility of organising can be a pain and how forced compromises produce over engineered solutions. That said it does strike me they've ended up with the downsides to both systems and benefits of neither.

From the recent Sainsbury's Great British Beer Hunt which the Beer Monkey has written about here & here I was familiar with Wold Top. Their Golden Summer was among the top five of that range tried to date. So cask Big Sky (3.9%) couldn't be missed. Unfortunately not sure it was in perfect condition as there was a slight haze to it and rather than the clean hoppy finish expected from the notes I got more the tanginess of stewed Granny Smith apples and very little balancing malt.

Another familiar brewery was Abbeydale. Despite being on exploratory mode decided Sheffield counted as local to Hull so managed to squeeze in a couple of halves across my two Festival sessions. The Deception (4.1%) was a new brew to me and this straw coloured soft mouth feel, dry tropical fruit flavoured gem got me back on course. Delicious. The Black Mass I had next day was as in just as good nick. At 6.7% may not have been ideal for a heatwave but the lasting bitter bite gave me something to remember.

In a similar vein was Old Spot's Spot of Bother (5.5%). Bitter roast, unyieldingly so. Didn't really get the Chocolate ice cream referred to in the tasting notes but I did get the bitterness, that certainly stayed with me. Another dark beer sampled were Great Newsome's Jem's Stout. Had high hopes for this beer and brewery generally. Did my homework and realised they were an East Yorks brewery well regarded. However this 4.3% stout lacked something. First sniff suggested a smoky experience but in the event I got more caramel. It had a decent enough body but too sweet for that style, almost to the point of being sickly.

Didn't get round to Great Newsome's two other beers at the festival after that and curiously didn't find any in the pubs of Hull. However going home via Manchester did come across Wandering Wheaterer(4.2%) in the Boggarts Hole Microbar (Arndale Centre) This was a much more pleasant proposition. Again there was sweetness but more subtle and sat better in this Wheatbeer/Golden ale mash up style of beer. Zestiness of the wheat probably helped. So moral is don't write off a brewery on basis of one bad beer.

Another reason not to be put off is by a name Fat Cat's Marmalade Cat(5.5%) had a sort of childish, self referencing one that could have mitigated against it. I only ordered because something else I was looking for had gone. Asking the bar staff my usual question of "What's selling well? What won't last till tomorrow?" I was pointed in the direction of this copper coloured strong bitter. It had tangey breakfast orange conserve sitting on top of robustly alcoholic warm malt.

Of the other beers sampled two were new to me and both being yellow with a slight haze made me reluctant to judge them too harshly. Great Oakley's Wagtail(3.9%) had a crisp bitterness which lingered almost too long. Quenching just the same. Brown Cow's Sessions(3.6%) was a Pale'n hoppy number. Grassy, let down by that over sweet digestive biscuit malt you get in so many Golden ale style beers. Perhaps under better conditions these new world hop beers could be better appreciated.

The unseasonably warm weather gave the hard-working staff an extra task of keeping the beer cool. As I left at 4pm on the Friday they were spraying down the casks to keep the temperatures down. With the Friday night session being all ticket and Saturday as the last day of the festival which experience tells me to avoid I said goodbye and headed for a pub crawl round Hull which you can read about next.

By the close of play 1800+ visitors drunk most of the beer and cider on offer. Thanks to all the Organisers and Staff for producing a great beer festival and good luck for 22nd to 24th March 2012

Keep in mind It Is All About The Beers so to finish here are my top five beers of the festival:

5) Fat Cat's Marmalade Cat

4) Abbeydale's Deception

3) Whistable's Kentish Reserve

2) Leyden's Black Pudding

1) Empire's Imperium

August Top Beer & Pub Tweets

28 of the best Beer, Pub or alcohol related tweets from August 2011

28) Bet ye you're one of those arseholes who walk intae Nice 'N' Sleazy's with a bike and a guitar. Fucking bet ye. Get oot
@amandacraig
That will be this month's admissions policy established

27) So, as I stumble past the prim and perfect blonde girl I think; 'You may be prettier than me, but I've had a shit load more beer'.
@fairysalad
Key to a happy life is focusing on those core values

26) Dismayed to note that my four-year boycott of the Park Bar has brought no chance in policy re selection of cask ales
@sundancemckid
If this tweet is part of that campaign could be counter productive. Sort of forgot the Park did cask beer. Now you've reminded me I'll be dropping in for some fundamentally pedestrian cask bitter soon.

Think CBoS & CBoB awards are all fun? Five days
 a week ah'm having to fire up they mashtuns
 tae keep up wi demand

25) If I'm honest, the only thing keeping me in Scotland is the "malt of the month" concept
@willmill82
I came for the free Tertiary education I stayed for the cheap, good quality booze

24) Just spoke to my boss and he's had an idea that is absolute genius. Genius!
@TheBlackIsleBoy
One thing that will never hurt a career is highlighting genius in a supervisor

23) Quite like the idea of home brewing beer. I think I'd call my first beer 'CHESHIRE FUCKBOMB' and see how that goes down.

Long week at work? Kids stressing you out? Have a CHESHIRE FUCKBOMB and taste the affluence and beauty of rural Cheshire. #Advertising
@TheWeeman7
Go for it, those Brewdog laggards won't know what hit 'em. TheWeeman does his own top Tweets. Quite good it is too. Not that I'm linking to it or anything

22) About to smuggle the rest of my beer out of the pub and go home
@colinbmx
Get a growler, Col

21) At George Square, @Fyneales bar. £3.10 a pint. Plastic glasses. Insufferable sound of bagpipes
@thethreesheets
Never the rose without the prick

Renfrewshire CAMRA members
recoil in hysteria/terror  

20) Inspired by this next tweet from Scott initiating a regular Tasting notes for Pseuds feature here at Drinking, Mostly:
Came across this, recent launch of one of my favourites in NY guy says its "heavily-junipered" I'll use that someday
@barbiographer
Not If I get in ahead of you, you won't.

New A le Review! Glastonbury Ales - Hedge Monkey 4.6%: Taste: marzipan! Algae scented cigarette skins.
@aleguider

Has anyone tried the ballast point habanero sculpin? The chilli kicks like an eight legged donkey. Phew! #gbbf
@rhodeshannah
Sounds like Wonderstuff to me

This bottled Traditional Scottish Ales Lomond Gold is better than I expected.
@desdemoor
Hardly a ringing endorsement. Damned by faint praise

Yellowhammer - refreshingly understated in times when it seems that only the loudest shouters think they'll be heard
@GrogansDrinking
Poetic, if uninformative

19) Taxi driver on the Olympics: 'if you live in London you may as well commit suicide for 2 weeks.' I am pretty sure that is not how it works
@BrewDogJames
Why kill time when you can kill yourself? I had that Tony Hancock in the back of my cab once. Very morose man.

18) While I'm crowd sourcing, any ideas for the BEER debate next issue? (let's steer clear of craft and the "Scottish brewery" for now)
@WBandBEER
Growing sense of Deja Vu with this Brewdog/Camra spat. Then it dawned on me: just re-enacting the Whitbread conflict from the 80's. Saw that lot off no bother....

17) Bit of a heavy start this month so here are some snappy one-liners to break things up:
A zombie walks into a pub. "Why the long face?" asks the barman. "My girlfriend's having an affair with my brother. I said he cadaver."
@Its_Death

Just met an inhibited vintner. Advised him not to keep things bottled up.

Our local has just started serving surreal ale. Just ordered a half a pint of soft clocks
@JulianDutton1

Gran'Paw's in. He's ower tired efter huntin' fir Grouse a' day wi'oot any luck. He had tae make do wi' Whyte an' Mackay instead :{D
@Mr_Paw_Broon
Right enough of that, back to the heavy stuff

16) "Ever since the Riots all I've ever wanted was a black girlfriend" (Porno for Pyros)
I try to go to Cardiff: the volcano stops me. Plan to go to London: riots. Not even going to try going to the pub for fear of Prohibition
@thethreesheets
It's all about ME

Last time I got stuck in a riot I took refuge in a pub. Should've bought that new @desdemoor book... In London tomorrow...
@Lupulucy

It's the middle of the festival in Edinburgh at the moment. No point in scumbags rioting here, no one would notice
@TheBlackIsleBoy

Finally something of value to take onto @C4fourrooms.
Courtesy of @TomBrogan

15) Next wee section all about 'Spoons:
Too many jakes scare off #glasgowbeer folk. Its no @HenglersAles or Last Post that's for sure!
@Glasgow_Red
On the Crystal Palace refurbishment

@Glasgow_Red aye we keep our jakes out and top quality beer in! Award winning ales coming up this week too! #glasgowbeer
@HenglersAles
Nice bit of fraternalism between 'spoons outlets there

Looking forward to running out of Traditional Scottish this weekend, that means its been a great success!! #glasgowbeer
@HenglersAles
Aye, and it will be safe for Des and the rest of us to go back in.

I query the price of a pint, next thing I know I'm told I'm no longer being served. Cheers, Society Room! #glasgowbeer
@willmill82
Hmmmmm....don't worry Readers, Will & the Society Rooms have since made up.

Received the post I look forward to each year - my £20 of Wetherspoons Real Ale vouchers courtesy of @camra_official (am I kidding?)
@Glasgow_Red
Don't get value like that on the Equity for Part time Punks scheme

14) In the finest Calvinist traditions a night of imbibing has to be paid for and many a tweeterer this month was dwelling on the aftermath:
Er....was so drunk in there one night and arguing prices of lambics, I'll wait until the barstaff have graduated and moved on
@thethreesheets
With levels of Student debt that could be a while

I'm very embarrassed about last nights tweet. Someone must have put alcohol in my alcohol
@Jo_Caulfield
Variation on an old cracker, Marx wasn't it? Never drink and tweet. I speak from experience.

Shrapnel count from last night: £18.37 Not a record but it's up there.
@dianogah
Be sure and update your spreadsheet

Hangover: storm force 10 but falling slowly, bastard settling in behind the eyes but bacon sarnie imminent bringing brighter outlook.
@VeeringWest
This guy is my favourite discovery of August

13) Meanwhile over in the cultured half of the Central Belt the Festival was underway
You can tell the Festival has started.....people pulling travel cases behind them are EVERYWHERE! Stop walking around and go to Mathers Pub!
@EdinburghPub

Can't wait for Edinburgh tomorrow. Shite ghost tour then BEVY. I hate Edinburgh
@amandacraig
Tweeted like a true Weedgie.

The Festival officially starts tonight... Late drink hours ....3am for pubs and 5am for clubs. Some then open 6am. Welcome to Edinburgh!
@EdinburghPub
OK, but I'm sure the founders had something else in mind all those years ago

Now that the tourists have gone home, I can get some peace, until next year
@Oxford Bar
Edinburgh's famous Oxford Bar started tweeting on the last day of August. Still made the top 28. Could fill next month's blog from his timeline already.Top curmudgeonliness

12) Of course August also saw the REAL Festival at Earls Court making those left at home melancholic
On walk home. Glasgow pubs all seem a bit empty. Has everyone gone to #gbbf?
@thethreesheets
I wandered lonely as a Twitterer/ When all at once I saw a crowd/...

Would everyone stop texting me about the beers they are having at GBBF, your doing my nut in! wishing i was there
@TempestAllan
Meanwhile in Kelso they took it like men

@BrewDogJames You were right to stay away from #GBBF It is full of sandal wearing old age gits, from the 70's.
@SW6BadgerJack
Oh stop it. BrewDog don't need any encouragement & CAMRA the stereotyping even less.

I just clapped a speech by a coalition minister(Tory) on community impact of pub closures. FFS, I won't be allowed back in Glasgow #gbbf
@rhodeshannah
Mugshot already posted at the border, 6 months in a re-education camp awaits. Do you the world of good.

This is what you can expect to see over on
BeerMonkey's blog. Competitions too

11) Sex and the weather from the Shipping Forecast
General synopsis at 1500 on Friday: hours left at work 3 , possibly 2, early bunk likely. Beer probable later. Karaoke warning. Oh yeah.

Libido: Northerly strong 7 or 8 initially, blimey, occasionally crikey, but veering southerly later following lager. Deep low by midnight.
@VeeringWest

10) Discussing the sexual dynamics of 100 acre wood. Who is Roo's father and was Kanga a prostitute... Pub philosophy at its best? No
@TheBlackIsleBoy
No

9) Went on a date with a guy who LOVED his local Wetherspoons, said 'some people he knew' even took Mondays off to spend there.
@nationdon
He didn't pay for his rounds with 50p CAMRA vouchers? Slight East Midlands accent? No? Thank goodness for that, eh @Glasgow_Red?

Another doubled up on every drink he bought himself. I was on soft drinks. He attempted a "move" and fell over.
@dobster1870
Last 2 were via @rhodri who compiled an excellent list of failed dates. Well worth seeking out. But like I said earlier: Not here to drive traffic to other peoples sites.

It's the ECONOMY, stupid
8) Stockmarket: dire turning dismal, then terrible leading to holy fucking shit. Depression bringing heavy rain of stockbrokers. Oh well. Pub?
@VeeringWest
Couldn't resist one last plug. If you're not already following then, well, you know ... just what do you want from Twitter? Bunch of FannyMuppets (©@RidHeid)

7) In Sarkozy's wardrobe dressed as Mr Tumnus covering over my recent 'deposit' with a puke covered hoof. Absinthe Thursday going to plan
@BenedictFarse
No idea what this means either but too absurd to omit & absinthe just about qualifies as drink? right?

6) In the 1901 pub on Pollokshaws road, well run place with new paint job, but very quiet for a pleasant afternoon, are southsiders that skint?
@barbiographer
Nah, not skint just very careful. Besides it's still the 1950s in most parts of Cathcart. Folk don't go drinking on midweek afternoons

Now do you see why @YoungsBeers had to give up brewing?

OK into the final stretch and Glasgow has been dominated by World War Z circus
LIFE, DEATH & THE UNDEAD
5) TOP TIP for @thelangside - provide a smoking area out back so the people standing out front don't scare away potential customers ;)
@Glasgow_Red
Joe keeping it real there as he identifies smokers as a bigger threat than the zombies

4) Sammy Dow's cairngorm highland ipa + old mortality (the beer rather than the congenital human condition) #glasgowbeer
@tweetabixface
Death and the southside

3) Starting on my book "300 Beers You Should Try After You Die". Just waiting for God to get back to me with the list of what's available
@robsterowski
Whilst some of us can't even contemplate the hereafter without reference to a deity, or in Rob's case a beer.

2) Life is about the journey. Not the destination. Unless the destination is the pub. In which case, give it some legs.
@Its_Death

1) Anywhere got Brains, need Brains.... #glasgowbeer
@tweetabixface
Only going to be one winner this month